How I Wish I Were You
by UpForRent
Summary: Everyone knows Russia. They also know they're scared of him, but what if he's not as bad as everyone thinks he is? Sure, he might carry around unexplainable weapons, and he might carry-off a scary aura, but you have to least let him speak what he thinks.
1. Chapter 1 Small Intimidation

**A/N: I do not own Russia, or any Hetalia characters/material. That all belongs to their creator.**

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How I Wish I Were You

By; UpForRent

Chapter 1;

Small Intimidation

It was snowing again.

Summer was over and done with. The cold will once again seep into the Russian ground and freeze, making yet another difficult winter to go by. I didn't mind in the least. The only thing I regret was not letting summer last longer, though it doesn't make a difference in Russian land. Besides, I'm only a country; a powerful one, yes, but not powerful enough to control the seasons or weather. Ah, how I long for the southern sea! Did you know, if you go down south the weather is pleasant all year-round?

Yes, it's true! Even though I like my homeland, I yearn for those warmer places. They always seem so peaceful and less turbulent here in Russia. The flowers bloom every day, not just in the spring like our sunflowers, and the climate is always warm and moist, not like the Russian cold, dry air here. Still, I wouldn't change my position, even when it's unbearable. The only thing I dislike about my home is that my next door neighbor is my little sister, Natalia.

You may think that it's not a bad thing that it might be a good way of life to live close to relatives, but when it comes to Natalia, closeness is the last thing I want to do on this planet. Being cursed by Mr. Kirkland seems better than hanging out with my little sister. No. Honestly, it's a fact. The only person that even likes her is my friend, Toris, but she doesn't approve of him. In fact, when he tried to flirt with her, she broke all of his fingers in one encounter.

The main reason why nobody likes her besides Toris is that she's kind of a downer. Plus, she's a total nut-job, and a little bit creepy. Okay. She's really creepy. I'm even scared of her. Even though she's pretty, my sister's personality is a little…awkward. Natalia hates almost everyone, except me. Actually, I'm sure she loves me more than a sister should ever love her brother. She loves me to the point where she wants to marry me. I'm flattered, really I am, but she's my little sister and to marry her would be…kind of gross. Plus, she sort of scares away any new friends that I make whenever I hang around them, mainly the Italian brothers: Feliciano and Lovino Vargas. And, she makes conversation just a tad bit strange, and she changes the mood drastically whenever she makes an appearance. So, in other words, I keep my distance. You should too whenever you see her, or whenever the mood changes.

Usually, I'm lucky to keep her away. I always come up with some sort of dilemma to escape from her stalking eyes. Today, however, I was not quite so lucky. It came unexpectedly. I wasn't really expecting to see her where I was going. It's too cheery for her there.

This morning, I got up and got dressed like anyone else would've. The next thing I did was order Eduard to make me my breakfast. Well, I asked him politely, but he was acting like l told him to do something absurd. Meanwhile, while he was cooking the food, I asked my friend, Toris, to go and find Raivis. The little country was out and about in my front yard, frolicking playfully in the snow. I would've allowed him to continue if he wasn't singing loudly, "It's snowing, it's snowing! Ivan hates the snow! He won't come to catch me if I'm out in the cold!"

After breakfast, I was going to punish the tiny thing.

I was thinking of ways to torture Raivis when Eduard came in serving my plate. The young man was trembling madly and I asked him what the matter was. He replied, "Oh, n-nothing, Ivan! It's ju-just a little co-cold in the hou-house. I'm fi-fine, rea-really." Then, he ran off.

I laughed, but I couldn't help feel a little sad. Everyone trembles in front of me, excluding Natalia and my older sister, Katyusha, and they always seem to stutter. Sometimes, they outright admit that they're scared of me. I smile and laugh at them all, stating that it was good that they were scared of me, as I was doing my job correctly. Even then, I feel disappointed, as I was hoping to make friends with the other countries, but they are too scared of me to even put up a 5 minute conversation with them. The only reason why I was friends with the trio, Eduard, Toris, and Raivis, was because I scared them and I intimidate them. What kind of friend am I if I scare even my own?

Once the moment passed away, I began to eat my breakfast. Once finished, Toris came in with Raivis, who was trembling as well. I asked Toris to clean-up the dishes for me when I go to talk to Raivis, and he picked them up off the table and left me alone with the country. I smiled, which just frightened Raivis even more. "Let's go into the library to talk." I told him, grabbed the back of his collar and dragged him to the room. "Ye-Yes, Mr. Braginski." Was his response. He knew what was coming to him. Once we got to the library, I began my punishment.

I took a huge stack of books off of one end of the table, which were presents from my sister, Katyusha. I placed them on his head, and told him to spin around. Each book he dropped, I smacked him with my carry-on: a titanium pipe built and manufactured from Japan. Kiku's house has tons of these lying around in its walls. I hope he didn't mind me taking it.

Anyway, I would place another book, twice its original weight, onto his head. He was weeping from the pain of the pipe and the humiliation of the punishment. After an hour of this, I let him go; watching him run out of the library was very entertaining. I had always enjoyed myself while punishing the tiny nation, though some would call it cruel or abuse, I call it discipline. Besides, what do they know about what he had done?

Eduard knocked on the library door and asked for permission to enter. I gave him access and he quietly opened and shut the door, the way I liked it. He cleared his throat as he prepared to speak. "Mr. Braginski, I hope you don't mind me intruding, but you have to go meet your boss in a short while." He announced. I blinked at him, and gave a smile. He shivered as soon as he saw it. I always had this effect on people when I show them a sign of pleasure or happiness. They always seem to stop in their tracks, almost like they were robots and they shut down in the middle of moving. It was almost like a river in time, freezing everyone except me in its icy waters. The moment I disappear from eyesight, everyone gave a nervous laugh and continued like nothing had happened. I don't know why, but they do this every time. I'm not sure if it was something I did, or I…was just that scary.

"Tell him, I'll be on my way." I told Eduard. He bowed a little and shuffled quickly out of the library. I sat awhile in deep thought, then I quietly opened a book and read for about an hour or so…

Once I had my coat on, courtesy of Toris, and my scarf skillfully wrapped around my neck so no one can see it, I left the house. I stomped through the soft, powdery snow that has fallen to the ground and accumulated into white, cold hills. The frozen, icy wind blew into my face, setting a rather frosty atmosphere. Slowly, in the deep, cold landscape, I walked, hurrying to the Russian Conference Room that was coincidently, placed near my own home. It was only a 10 minute walk. There was also a field of sunflowers that happened to grow almost every year as well, so the trip was worth it during the summer.

That was where I saw her.

"Hello, Big Brother." Natalia greeted.

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_I finally got this chapter finished! Woohoo. Here's a Russia story, as promised. Hope you enjoy!_


	2. Chapter 2 Practice Makes Perfect

**A/N: I do not own Hetalia. Hetalia belongs to the respective owner.**

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Chapter 2;

Practice Makes Perfect

I shivered, though I was not sure if it was from the cold weather or the creepy greeting of my little sister, but either way, I was cold to the bone. I felt ice gripped my legs, the snow blowing kisses on me faster than even the wind could. It certainly felt like the temperature had dropped lower than one would predict on a winter day.

Natalia bounded up to me in a way that would put Elizabeta's swag to shame. It did not look the least bit ladylike, and had come off as masculine, the same way she had walked over to Feliciano and Lovino when we had first became friends. No wonder she had scared them to the point of running away! She acted less like a lady than even the tomboy Hungarian! Soon, which was only a trick Natalia could possess, she had stepped into my personal space, only one inch away from my fluttering coat.

"Hello, Big Brother." She said to me again, her voice barely above a whisper, filled with a creepy tone. I shuddered again, wanting to run away from my little sister and lock myself away for a thousand years, much like what Kiku did a few years ago. I still managed to respond however. Though, it was quite pathetic.

"He-Hello, Natalia." I said, a stutter coming out of my mouth. She pouted her lips, which made her face crinkled in a scary manner. "Big Brother, please call me Little Sister. It would make me so happy if you do." She had said. I almost gave out an annoyed sigh, but I knew that would make my sister more unpleasant than she is. "Alright. Hello, Li-Little Sister." I had complied to. She gave me a warm smile, which would've looked cute on her, if it wasn't for the fact that the aura she gave off was scary. All I could, was smile back, but it came off as awkward rather than affectionate. Sure, I do love my little sister, but her intense feelings for me always gave me creepy feelings, especially when she smiles, even if it was genuine. I think I understand how people feel when they see that same emotion on my face.

I could tell that her dark, indigo eyes were a little annoyed by my inability to show my affection towards her, though the same smile was plastered on her face. I suddenly remembered what I was out here to do: I was to walk to the Russian Conference Room to meet up with my boss. One problem, though: If I walk, Natalia will follow me like a lost puppy. I have been in these situations several times (More actually, but I would hate to admit it.). I had done it enough times to get her off my back, which astounds a lot of countries (except for Alfred. I doubt he even knows why it's amazing).

I cleared my throat, ready to say my usual excuse when all of a sudden: Natalia held out sunflowers for me. I looked at her in amazement. This was so very unlike her. She seemed pleased with my reaction to her sudden move, as she had given me a kind-hearted smile. I gaped. With sunflowers in hand, a nice smile, and a pretty dress, she looked almost innocent.

Almost.

She still gave off the creepy aura, not to mention that with her so close to me, I felt violated. Still giving off the smile, and holding the sunflowers, she said, "These were the last sunflowers of the season, so I came and picked them out for you. I know how much you love sunflowers." She said. She pushed them into my hands, which went limp after what she said.

The flowers fell right out of my open palm and she looked at me with concerned eyes. "Big Brother? Big Brother, is there something wrong?" she asked.

I didn't respond.

Her words were echoing amongst the walls of my skull, my brain repeating the words over and over again, until I wasn't sure what they had meant anymore.

_The last sunflowers of the season._

_Last sunflowers of the season._

_Sunflowers of the season._

_Of the season._

_The season._

_Season._

_I came and picked them out for you._

_Picked them out for you._

_Picked them out._

_Picked them._

_Picked._

_I know how much you love sunflowers._

_You love sunflowers._

_Love sunflowers._

_Sunflowers._

**Season.**

**Picked.**

**Sunflowers.**

**Picked.**

**Sunflowers.**

**Picked.**

**Season.**

**Sunflowers.**

**Picked.**

**Sunflowers.**

**Season.**

This went on and on in my head, never-ending, never-stopping. It continued, on and on and on until the words became scrambled. Finally, after much confusion and word-scrambling, it registered in my mind with an imaginary _click._

_Natalia._

_Natalia picked._

_Natalia picked sunflowers._

_Natalia picked the last sunflowers of the season._

That's when I began to shake with anger. I did love sunflowers so. I love to see them during the summer, and I enjoyed keeping them in my home to brighten the house, but I hated…I HATED it when people pick the very last ones, not letting them have their full cycle of life in nature, killing them before they could see their fate. And my little sister…No…NATALIA picked the VERY LAST SUNFLOWERS OF THE SEASON! **THE VERY LAST!**

I chattered my teeth in anger, clenching my hands so tight, they drew blood. That's what I wanted to see Natalia with. Red, red blood, pouring out of her nose, dying her hair.

_Hahaha! Dying! Get it! __**DYING **__her hair!_, I had laughed insanely in my mind. I can only imagine the torture, the pain, the feeling of being torn to shreds, the feeling of numbing anguish afterwards as infection and various diseases entered your body in the quickly red staining snow. Natalia should feel that, after all the things she had put me through, after **PICKING THE LAST SUNFLOWERS!** I could feel the ongoing rush in my hands, the very intense feeling of anger coursing quickly through my veins, entering my heart, clouding my better judgment. I wanted to see her have her last breath here, right in front of my feet, her body nothing more than a bloody, red corpse. I wanted my coat and scarf painted crimson, I wanted them to be! This consuming anger, this building of horrible hatred was killing me, destroying my very being. I had to. It was the only way to regain control of myself. I had to. I had to. I had to. I had to…

**I HAD TO!**

Suddenly, that feeling faded away, my anger and hatred disappearing into the great unknown, back to the far corners of my mind as I had thought that one question: Was it worth it? Was it worth killing my sister? Was it worth all the trouble I would've caused? There was an answer in the back of my head that sounded faintly like Alfred.

_No. No, it wasn't worth it. Not at all._

I sighed, letting the lingering feelings leave my system, my clenched fists relaxing in their grasp, my palm burning from the open wounds. I shut my eyes briefly, allowing my whole body to calm down, my shoulders no longer tensed. Once the last feeling of anguish was gone, I attempted a smile as I open my eyes. There stood my sister, her mouth agape at me, her hands clenching onto the sunflowers, her eyes wide with fear. Quickly, they turned back to love, her mouth settling into a satisfied frown, her hands relaxing. I had noticed the ways her shoulders were hunched up, almost like a baseball player, ready to hit the ball with a metal bat and strike a homerun. I knew what she would've done if I were to lay on finger on her through my aggression: a smack straight to the head to knock me cold for a couple of some hours. It was self-defense, a tactic only I had taught her. I wondered if she had ever perfected that move.

With her loving eyes, she gazed up at me, making sure my face wasn't contorted with anger. She looked at the sunflowers and then handed them to me again. I gently took them, but I was planning on throwing them away. They were already dying, so I saw no point in keeping them alive anymore. Natalia stood there for a while. Finally, after a long awkward silence, she had spoken one sentence; a very simple sentence:

"Your hands are bleeding, Big Brother."

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I hung my coat and scarf up on the coat rack within my boss's office, settling down quickly in a chair, trying to ignore the untidiness of his ill-mannered room. I began to pick on my bandages wrapped around my hands while waiting for my boss, the ones Natalia had put on me during our conversation about the wintery months ahead of us, sometimes pausing to put the gauze on correctly before continuing her thought. Soon, the burning feeling went away and I had finally told her the most trite, if not every day, excuse to get away:

"I'm busy. Perhaps another time, Little Sister?"

After I had walked away, I suddenly began to feel guilty for having thoughts of even hurting my sister, though it didn't surprise me for the thoughts having been plaguing me recently. One person I would not mind shutting up for good would be Feliks, that Polish man who lives across the street from me. He never stopped talking and that brightly colored house he often changes didn't help either.

I waited ever so patiently for my boss, who was sure taking his sweet time getting there. After a long awhile, he finally came in, a mug in hand filled with coffee, his other hand closing the door. I looked at him when he had turned to my attention.

"Ah, Mr. Braginski. You're here. I was just about to call you to remind you we were supposed to have a meeting." He had said, eyes flashing silently underneath his hair. I smiled innocently, thinking of a couple of ways to kill the man, ranging from poison to assassination, though I would never really do that to my boss, but the fact that he has to correct ME on timing when HE was the running late annoyed me so.

Silently, taking a seat, my boss pulled out a rather large file, opening it up and quickly going through its contents. I gulped, knowing well what types of files these were. It was a record of soldiers who had died or retired in the army, which was a vast majority, it's most thick pile of identities during WW2; the Russian Cannon Fodder was the harshest act of military strategy we have ever done. I breathed a sigh of relief as he had closed it and put it back, taking out another large file from behind, this one slightly larger than the last.

"Ivan, we need a new strategy dealing with the nations around us." He had begun. I blinked slowly at him. What was he getting at now?

"With the growing populations of the countries, the new advances of technologies, and nuclear warfare, we are to be at our toes with our enemies, especially those closest to us. I brought you in today to discuss our…operation." He continued. I raised an eyebrow. "Operation? You mean, like, spy?" I had asked. "A little, but more like uncovering the secrets of your best friend, if you know what I mean." He said. I shook my head, unsure at all of what he was trying to tell me.

He sighed. "Ivan, do you know the saying, 'Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer'?"

"Yes. So?"

"Don't be playing innocent. You know what I mean!"

"Sir, I don't. I honestly don't know." I complained, trying to process the information he was keeping. It took me several minutes to decide, because he wasn't going tell me flat-out what he was planning. I went through it in my head privately:

_Keep your friends close, but keep your enemies closer…_

_The whole world is my enemy, even Natalia, so…_

I gasped. "Sir, you want me to PRETEND I'm there ALLY?!" I had concluded, eyes wide in shock, so dramatic that even Roderich would be amazed.

My boss smiled.

"Exactly, and this is how YOU'RE gonna do it."

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_I finally got this chapter done! Woo! Trying to catch up with stories this week, so that would explain the recent uploads and such! I hope you enjoy this installment of **How I Wish I Were You**!_


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